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The Courage to Ask

We left off the last blog, talking about the course it takes to explore why we quit asking good questions. Today we'll look at the seven distinct reasons why people stop being curious enough to ask good questions.

Here's the good news. If we courageously look at our lives, we can see—and remove—the blinders that hinder us from having better relationships, more fulfillment, and a more profound sense of satisfaction and purpose. We can discover why we succumbed to these seven hindrances.

As outlined in Mark Victor Hansen and Crystal Dwyer Hansen's book entitled, Ask! The Bridge from Your Dreams to Your Destiny, there are seven distinct reasons we fail to ask more of life.

  1. We lack the experience to see what is possible. We grew up with limited possibilities and never had a significant person as a role model who could share what was possible.

  2. We are not sure of who or how to ask the right questions. Rather than forge ahead and risk looking or feeling stupid, we don't ask.

  3. We possess an attitude of stubborn refusal to ask from a false sense of superiority. We may think that ignorant people surround us, or worse yet, those who surround us are idiots who have no understanding of our circumstances and thus, they can't possibly help.

  4. Handicapped by a lack of self-worth, we sincerely believe this is our lot in life--we have no right to ask for more. To ask would be asking for too much.

  5. Like a hamster running on its wheel and getting nowhere, we get stuck in a loop of repeating the same patterns and don't know how to break unhelpful patterns.

  6. It's too risky. We fear losing love, respect, or approval if we ask for what we really want.

  7. We've disconnected from our true selves. We accepted the world's opinion when we masked up to fit in. We lost the truth from our true identity and our sense of worthiness.

A friend of mine often says to his teenager at restaurants when she is too shy to speak to the server, "An unopened mouth doesn't get fed." She is learning you've got to ask for what you want, including food.

© 2023. Exponential Functions, LLC. All rights reserved.

Julie Sies, the owner of Exponential Functions, LLC, is an ICF ACC Coach and an accredited Transformational Leadership Trainer. She guides her clients to develop their inborn abilities to break through barriers and flourish with exponential growth and success.

New 1-1 Coaching and TL Cohorts starting quarterly in 2023. We are looking for team leaders looking to increase their influence, have less stress, increased profit, and more fun with their teams.

For more information, find her at Reach out to us at

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